I took my older son skating this week for his final lesson
and I had a very interesting and shocking experience that I wanted to share
with everyone. Usually my husband Steve comes with me but he had a prior
engagement so he couldn’t come this time. This made it harder because that
meant I had to put Eidan’s skates on and all the other gear as well as watch
Spencer at the same time. Spencer was having a fussy afternoon as he is
teething so I had to hold him. I got Eidan ready, took him to the door where he
goes on the ice, I put Spencer in a cute snowsuit with a hood and proceeded to
watch Eidan’s lesson. A little girl came up behind me, she could not have been
more than 4 years old, and asked if she could see the baby. So I of course
turned Spencer around and the girl talked to him, made him laugh and was really
sweet. But the next thing that came out
of her mouth blew me away entirely. She looked up at me and said every so
sweetly “why is one of his eyes bigger than the other?” I was dumbfounded. I
couldn’t believe that she even noticed. I don’t know if the hood emphasized it
or if she was just extremely observant. I did not know how to answer her. All I
could think of was that “now the decision is made FOR SURE” surgery is the only
option since a four year old picked up on it. Thank goodness he is too young to
know or this for sure would have upset him. Luckily I did not have to explain
as the little girl’s mother called her as it was time for her skating lesson! I
don’t know if I even had an answer to give her. To an adult it’s easy to say he
has Cranio Synostosis, explain it, say that it will be fixed and it is cosmetic
but what do you say to a 4 year old? All the while I am wondering if my older
son Eidan who is also now 4 has ever noticed anything about his brother. He has
never said anything so I don’t think he does but you never know what runs
through their heads. This also makes me think about how many adults we see and
what they must think of Spencer. I find now I am very self conscious for him
and I am constantly watching people’s faces as they interact with him. I am
also wondering about what people will say or not say when they see the scar
that he will have after the surgery.
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| Eidan and Spencer |
Alana... laugh off the scar, he's a boy - scars are "sexy" - he can say it's his superhero scar to remind him of when he saved the world. It'll be gone before you know it. I have a lovely reminder of my cancer very visible right across my throat that just didn't heal well - I'm sure some people think I botched a suicide attempt. No worries, not a single person is perfect in every way - some people's flaws are on the outside, some on the inside. I think the one truth is that everybody thinks their OWN flaws show worse than anyone else's...
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