Celebrating Spencer's First Birthday

The Cake that me and my sister in law to be made!

I can’t believe that Spencer is already 1 year old and the surgery is behind us! It feels like just yesterday that we got the horrible news about his condition and the need for surgery and as I sit here and reflect it is unbelievable how it all just fades away into the past. It brings back a memory of what a friend of mine (whose daughter underwent the same surgery a year ago) said to me the week of the surgery. She said, “I am happy for you that it is approaching and before you know it, it will be over and you won’t look back.” At the time I really did not understand and to be quite honest I was quite appalled at these words. I thought, how can you say this to me when my ten month old baby is about to undergo such serious surgery? How can I look forward?  I just want time to stop and the date to never come. But, now sitting here on the other side of it, I get it! It is over! He is Fine! We CAN move on with our lives and celebrate his first birthday.  At first I figured we would just have a small birthday party but everyone said the same thing. “You have had such a difficult first year with Spencer you have to celebrate the good times. Remember how you are feeling right now and live!” So we did. We had a full out party with food, and a music class surrounded by all our family and friends. It was truly amazing. We watched Spencer crawl around, cruise around (as he is minutes from walking) and most important have a ball at his own party, smiling from ear to ear the entire time. What a day!

The Music class with all Spencer's friends

 

As I look at Spencer now even I feel like even I am in a very different place then I was one year ago. One year ago I would sit and look at Spencer and fear what his life will bring. I found myself doubting his looks and as shallow as it may sound, I feared what he may look like if he continued on the path he was headed. Now, I can honestly say this worry has been wiped away with the surgery. I can truthfully look at Spencer now and say that he will be fine. He is so adorable. His eyes and smile can light up a whole room. It is amazing how many people say “oh, he is so cute.” I didn’t hear those words at all until now. People just used to comment about how much hair he had or commented on what he was wearing but now it is always,  “look at him, he is so smiley, he is so precious, his smile is amazing!” What a difference. I even had someone ask me recently when he was having the surgery. I was shocked by this but said that it was in June and they were blown away. They couldn’t believe how he looks and how he is acting only 10 weeks after surgery. And the scar that I was so worried about, the reason I considered not doing the surgery, is nonexistent, buried deep in his hair and unless you really look you can’t tell at all. I sort of feel silly now for ever doubting the surgery in the first place. I trusted Dr. Philips and he is truly amazing! He did exactly what he said he was going to do and I am ever so grateful. I would urge anyone who has a child with this condition to go through with the surgery. Yes, it is hard to watch your child undergo the surgery. It is an unbelievably difficult week but wow it is worth it. Once that week is over your world will change so much just as ours did. We did this for Spencer’s future and it was definitely the right choice!                

 

We all take for granted the small things in life, like watching our kids do the little things but I look at life a whole different way now. I think if Spencer can get through this then we can get through anything. I appreciate the small stuff now. I do try and live for every moment as you never know what tomorrow may bring.

Spencer had his first check up and although he is on the small side (the 10^th percentile) he is meeting ALL of his milestones, he is gaining weight, getting taller, starting to talk a little bit and eating like a horse. What more could we ask for? Our pediatrician is amazed at how he looks as his eye is really evening out, his nose is starting to look straighter and overall he is just such a happy baby. Such a difference from when he was an infant.

Over the next few months Spencer will have follow up ophthalmology appointments, an appointment with Dr. Philips, and continue his regular checkups but besides that we are not looking back, only forward.  

Spencer at 1 year