Friday June 22 (Day 2 Post surgery)

*** Just a note that this page contains graphic pictures of what Spencer looked like during recovery***

Friday was a day filled with sitting, holding and waiting. Spencer pretty much slept the entire day so it was hard to see if he was swelling and if so how much. Although as the hours past, it did become clear. His eyes would be swelled shut by late afternoon for sure. This upset me so much. I must have asked the nurse a thousand times, “When will they open again? This is the worst day, right?” The nurses all answered the same thing. “The swelling usually peaks (or is at its absolute worst) around the 36 hour mark. This meant tonight at midnight we would see Spencer at his worst and this scared me beyond words. And in fact, this happened. Around dinner time, both of Spencer’s eyes had swelled completely shut and the baby that I knew and loved was no longer there. He was someone else. A giant, horrific looking baby. His eyes were red and puffy, his body was about two times the size that he normally is and it was so unbelievably hard to deal with. I cried and cried. The only solace I had was that Spencer was still on morphine and therefore he was sleeping most of the time. It was hard to tell if he was awake, when he was awake as his eyes were shut but you could sometimes tell when he was as he would sort of sit up and try to look around.  I will admit that this part for me was worse than waiting while he was in surgery. This time you are literally watching your child suffer. Not in pain because he definitely was not in pain but he was frustrated and upset as anyone would be if they all of a sudden couldn’t see. He was only comforted by me at this point. No one could hold him but me. Even Steve could not console or comfort him at this time, which is totally understandable but also very very difficult. It was a struggle for me to even find time to use the restroom as this would cause Spencer to get upset. All I could do was hold him close, nurse him and let him know that I was there and not leaving him at all.  I kept telling myself that Sunday would come and this whole ordeal would be over with. Sunday could not come fast enough.

Friday night - Spencer at his worst (Jackson Pratt drain still in)